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Hurtful in My Youth

By: M. R. Bawa Muhaiyaddeen

QUESTIONER: I can see that at times I was very hurtful in the way I acted toward my parents when I was young. Even now as an adult, I look at that, and although I know I cannot go back, sometimes I feel an urge to apologize to them somehow. I want to ask God to forgive me for what I have done, but there is also another part of me that is saying I want them to know I am sorry for the pain I caused them.

BAWA MUHAIYADDEEN: First of all, you should think, “My God, You created me, and You are protecting me every second of my life. You gave me food, You gave me this body, You gave me speech. You gave me eyes to see, a nose to smell fragrances, and a tongue to know tastes. You gave me arms and legs to do my duty, and You gave me a heart to make me feel happy. You gave me all these things. You gave me a life of freedom. You are a friend to everyone. Your love is greater than the love of anyone else in this world. Of all the wealth I have acquired in this world, You have given me the greatest—the wealth of my soul, the wealth of my wisdom, and the wealth of iman, of perfect faith and certitude. You have given me all these treasures, but I have forgotten Your kingdom and You. I have forgotten Your qualities and actions and have discarded them. I realize now that I have committed many faults toward You. May You forgive me for all that I have done to You.”

We have committed such grievous faults towards the One who has given us so much. If you can first reform yourself in this area, then everything else will become very easy. These are only small twigs and branches that have grown from that one original fault. If you correct that fault, you can correct everything else. Then His qualities and His duties will come into you.

Now bring out the apple box. Let’s give the children some fruits.

April 27, 1979

Muhaiyaddeen, M.R. Bawa. Questions of Life – Answers of Wisdom Volume 1. Philadelphia: Fellowship Press, 1991. 142-143.

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