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STUDENT: When I look within to know myself I feel confused and depressed. I want Bawa to tell me personally what I need to do in order to know myself. BAWA MUHAIYADDEEN: If you set out to build a stone house, first you must go to a rocky mountain and blast apart the rock. To do that you need dynamite. To insert the dynamite into the rock, you have to chisel a small hole. And to make the dynamite explode, you have to light the fuse. You must go through so much trouble, sweating and struggling and working hard, in order to get stone for your house. Each time you make a hole in the rock, it will cause pain both to the rock and to the mountain. It will also cause pain to the hammer and chisel which are striking the rock. Even the hand that is doing the beating will feel pain; and when the hand hurts, the whole body hurts. What is the cause of all this pain? Your desire to build a house. Each step brings some kind of suffering, but once they are over and you light the fuse, everything will burst open. After that, you will be able to break the rock very easily, bit by bit. There will no longer be any pain. In the same way, at any point in your body, there are four hundred trillion, ten thousand spiritual forces, blood-drinking demons, ghosts, vicious beasts, snakes and scorpions, bears, lions, tigers, foxes, monkeys, dogs, donkeys, horses, cows, bulls, goats, pigs, eagles, vultures, and many others—all with great energy and strength. There are many millions of energies at work within you. These shaktis and siddhis, these elemental miracles and occult powers, have built a huge rocky mountain of mind, desire, and karma, which only can be shattered by wisdom. But as soon as you strike the chisel with the hammer of wisdom, all the parts will feel pain. Mind, desire, and karma will cry out. Then what do you need? You need the strength of faith, certitude, and determination. You must hold on very firmly, for if you iman is stronger than the rock, no pain will be able to afflict your body. That certitude will take away the pain and help you to crack open the rock of mind, desire, and karma. And once you succeed in blasting that, the work will become very easy. It certainly is hard to split the rock open and it does indeed cause pain, but don't give up and run away. Use your wisdom properly. Be strong, stand firm, and continue to beat and chisel away at the rock. Muhaiyaddeen, M.R. Bawa. Questions of Life – Answers of Wisdom Volume 1. Philadelphia: Fellowship Press, 1991. 149-150.
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